Society has us all pushing thru life like we are on a roller coaster that is on a time schedule, all while it is breaking down and we are trying to stay balanced in the air! I get that is a big statement but the reality is we all have so much on our plates and are rushing around with very little time for error. We are all being forced to move 100 miles per minute thinking we are heading in one direction when really we are having to be in 500 places at once. Then when we least expect it out of nowhere we hit a bump in the road or come to an impasse where we are forced to make change in haste ! In these moments is when our mind, body and soul begin to experience change. Maybe we even begin to have health issues or symptoms of exhaustion or feelings of depression or anxiety! All these details for so long were treated as if they were taboo but they really are not! The world seems to be waking up from the standards that have held us in place for so long. For that very reason so many of us don’t know what to do because of it. How do we survive in a time that makes no sense to us?
“People, We Are Only Human!”
I say that because some of us don’t realize it. ” So what does that mean exactly for those of you that may not get it! It means that whether we like it or not we don’t always have control of everything we wish we did. We cannot control everything around us and we cannot anticipate every bump in the road! The reality is most of us are as strong as we need to be in the moment. The hard thing is sometimes it takes a lot to find the strength that we need to get through what we are going through. Sometimes it takes patience, time and healing to be able to take our next steps. All things so many of us do not have at every given moment. Not to mention time to feel all the feelings we need to feel in order to process all we struggle with or need to accomplish. Life is a roller coaster of details all being thrown in our face at once. That is the thrill of the ride. We never know what is coming next but we still have to stay the course till the next stop. If you struggle with this you are not alone because we all do life is hard and complex.
You see life is not for the weak of hearts it’s for those that are willing to do what it takes to push themselves out of bed and make the changes they need to make in order to live the life they desire! I am a firm believer even when we are at our wits end we can still find a way. At the end of every road, we still have the power to push forward even if it’s only to take a few last breaths. for example: “My mom was diagnosed with cancer way too late in the game. She was told that they didn’t know if she’d make it more than a month down the road. However, she was strong and had the will to live because she had things she still had to do. Two years later, after watching two of us get married and her own mother die of cancer, watching her grand babies grow trying to stick around for all of her family the best she could for as long as she could. Until she finally reached a point where her fight to live came to an end. That woman gave this Life and that fight all she had just like so many others at the end of their life do.” People don’t always realize how precious life is but some do and some others find it along the way. You need the will to live, if you want to survive and within you is all you need! You just need to find faith in yourself and the dedication to stay committed to where you put your focus while you can.
Not a single one of us is perfect, but we do not have to be because the things that make our imperfections are the things that make us, who we are. The things we go through in life are the things that build us up or teach us how to do better, move faster, and even how to be stronger! I used to be naive enough to believe that we all had one true love and that every step I took was leading me to my happy ending! That’s what we were taught to believe from a young age every fairy tale led to some beautiful happy ending. The sad truth is in reality some where along our journey, we realize we don’t always get that happy ending. Finding true love even once for some is a conquest and finding our happily ever after for some is not a reality! All we can do in this life is live in the moment to the best of our ability. We need to be proud of all we have overcome and celebrate all the ways we have grown along the way! For in those moments is what makes life worth living. That is the thrill of the ride of life. Everything else along the way are details and narratives that help build our story line to empower us to stay motivated or break it to hinder our growth. That is until we find a way to overcome what is standing in our way. I can tell you now that you have what it takes. You just have to see it within yourself in order to find your direction or the light in the dark.
Why is the Title of Today’s Post Take One Chapter at a Time and Why Does Any of the Above Matter?
Well my dear readers, the answer is just like I am writing this post, today you yourself are the author of your very own story! In most cases like any good book being written most of them start with an outcome in mind but after much thought and time that very story develops into a much bigger deal than you intended it to be. They do that because you don’t know what tomorrows going to bring. So with that being said you don’t know what your personal ending will be either. In fact, you don’t even know where the story in this case being your life is going to take you! Life is full of what they like to call life changing moments. For example: Anything from sickness, divorce, death, financial disaster from a loss of job, or perhaps even loss of home. These are the moments when life gets real and we have to step it up for ourselves in order to survive. In these moments is when we decide if we are going to take life and lay down no matter what it gives us or if we are going to stand up and turn lemons into lemonade. I personally tend to ride both waves because I feel in order to allow myself the time and ability to persevere I need to allow myself time to feel what it is that I am feeling. Some of us that do this get stuck though and don’t know how to get back up. Some days, I do too but I always do my best to use the hurt or pain to come back just as hard as I fell by turning all of those negative feelings into fuel to fire my recovery so I can reach my desired end game. Frequently once I get there I get bored or find a yearning for more which is when my story generally takes a new unexpected turn for better or worse once I want something nothing usually holds me down for long because of my fierce spirit.
For instance, I will use my own life as an example, ” I have been blessed enough to know love many times as well as I have been unlucky enough to have also experienced heartbreak just as many times! The thing about love people don’t tell you is as much as it makes you it can also break you. Each one of my love stories had many ups and downs. Each time, I fell in love with a man that at the time I thought I knew and loved. You see in that moment I did love them in fact even after they were gone I still had love for them. My late husband used to say “Once the flame of love is created the flame never really goes out but life goes on and you grow beyond that flame.” During each one of my love stories, I built a life with a man that I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with and in the end of every story I found myself alone, as most do! Some days, I feel sad for myself like most that have experienced the feeling of love and loss. I recently realized that I have loved the idea of love so much that maybe I dedicated too much of myself to every aspect of it. Some are addicted to food, drugs and other things but for me I would say I have always struggled with the concept of loving too much which in the end always seems to hurt me worse. I give my all to it, no matter if I love you as a friend or a foe. No matter, if you are my partner or an animal I found on the side of the road. My kryptonite in this life is love to the fullest extent. However, beautiful each chapter of my life has been I have always found love in one way or another and given it everything I had! I have no real regrets but lately I have wondered if maybe I spent too much time loving others and not enough time loving myself the way I deserved! For a while before and after my husband passed I did primarily focus on self love but looking back I wish I gave myself a little more time than I did with it. I feel like in this day and age many people are wondering the same thing! I think that’s why more people live the single life and less people are getting married! The world as we know it has changed fairy tales from yesterday are live action films filled with changes some of us wouldn’t always agree with but here we are watching the standards of yesterday being rewritten just like all of our laws and standards of living. Lines are being broken and moved in order to open doors to places some of us don’t want to go or are scared to admit they exist. We are no longer in the land of make believe. We are in the thick of the action taking on one war after the next whether it be within ourselves, down the block or just about to happen. That is the reality of the life we live in and the struggles we are all currently facing. At this moment the world is a confusing place we used to see men and women as men and women. We used to see each other by shade but now people come in all different shapes, colors and sizes with different titles. The world as we know is is different and that alone has changed every one of our story lines.
The Questions We All Struggle With
What exactly are we doing with our lives? Why endure the struggles of heart break or carry the extra baggage of someone else. Why should we allow others perspectives or ideas to cloud our own or change our world? How do all these life changes change us or alter our own story? This life has become so hard that most of us can only endure what’s going on in our own heads, in our own lives or in the moments we are in let alone anyone else’s. Life is a challenge on any normal day but what really is the meaning of normalcy? What is your normal and do you ever stop to think is your normal the normal to the person next to you? So, many people live such different lives. What sets you apart from your peers? Do you think they would benefit from knowing your reality or would you benefit from knowing theirs? What have you dedicated your life to? How have you spent your life? What is your story about? What are you seeking in life or what is it that you are doing to live your best life? What changes are you willing to make in your today for a better tomorrow whether you are on your own or with someone else?
Your book don’t just have to have one theme. Off the bat some would consider my story a bit of a rom com or tragic love story but it has also been filled with perseverance and personal growth on so many levels. As the author of my own life, I have always been peeling back the onion of my soul so that I can really achieve all there is to bring myself true happiness! Every day trying to get down to my core beliefs, wants and needs. I do this in hopes that one day when my story comes to an end. that hopefully I will have achieved all of my goals, dreams and aspirations along the way! Do you have any goals, dreams or aspirations and if so how are they going and what are you doing to achieve them in your current time. What changes are you making to achieve those goals? Are your actions helping you to reach them or are you fighting yourself and standing in your own way and if so why are you fighting yourself? Why are you doing things that are not helping you meet the standards it’s going to take to live the life you desire? Is it your foundational beliefs standing in your way? Is it your pride, confidence, lack of empowerment or unhealed wounds or just a general lack of misunderstanding yourself? Whatever it is do not get stuck there in that place where you watch all you want to pass you by because you don’t know how to get out of your own way. Don’t allow yourself to hinder your journey make the changes you need to make in order to live the life you desire. It may be scary and you may feel uncertain but take the leap because you never know how great life can be if you just let go of these little details that have been programmed in your head or judgement that has been forced upon you.
That’s why we have to take one chapter at a time in life because life is not meant to be a dictionary or Bible of tales on how to live according to someone else’s definition of life or faith. It is a journey where you get to learn new things, be open to new concepts and grow beyond your wildest imagination. Each one of our stories will have many chapters perhaps even volumes or sagas. All of which will tell a story about your very own pursuit of happiness! Each one is full of details that we learned along the way and things we did in our moments of grief or growth! The journey of life is meant to have ups and downs. You see without the downs, we wouldn’t be able to recognize the ups! We wouldn’t be able to appreciate the little things that are so important or necessary to us! That’s the cold hard truth about life in order to succeed, we must fall on our face a few times. In order to get lucky or feel lucky, we must know what it feels like to lose or have no luck even when we want it most! These details are the ones that set each of us apart. These are the parts of our story line when we find our real intentions and true direction. These moments are when we start to find perseverance or decide to settle in one place. Which ever you decide to do you are the director of your own life and only you can decide what comes next if your willing to take control of the wheel before life gets the best of you.
Take Time in Your Moments of Joy Because You Never Know How Long They Will Last!
I was married to the man of my dreams and some days he was really good at also being the monster of my story line. However, he was also everything that I ever wanted and needed growing up! In fact, without him I can say proudly, I wouldn’t be the Woman I am today. Together we over came more obstacles than either one of us would have ever thought possible. We used to sit on his brown leather couch every night dreaming of the things we hoped for later on in life. Later on we called it the magic couch because when we got older, together we figured out how to make the majority of the things we hoped for come true. Until one day he passed away and they all came to a tragic end. As all of our lives will, his life ended but in my heart I hope his story found a way to go on in heaven or move along on some other type journey. In hopes one day we will see each other again. I know mine did not end the way I thought it would because I’m still here and he’s not but I survived. Some would say I started a new chapter one in which I once again found love! I honestly feel like the last stage of my life ended as a long line of good stories all about how I grew up and built a life with the man of my dreams until it came to a tragic end. That book series would be titles My Crazy Beautiful Pursuit of Life which just so happened to be the title of my first blog. Then I believe maybe instead of writing a new chapter I moved on to a whole new journey like a new series of books that were full of story lines marking a new and exciting adventures, realizations, struggles and perseverance . One in which where I had good times and bad times as well but with new characters and wisdom that came from my first series losses. One where over time, I learned many new lessons that I never wanted to learn but did. One in which where I fell on my face more times than I could count but I still found a way to get back up. Nothing in this life lasts forever that’s the hard truth that I had to learn. I had to learn too young that the fairy tales are for children to give them hope and aspirations of what life can be if they just keep going past all their struggles. However, as an adult we are forced to realize that the life in front of us is what we make of it! We do not have a fairy god mother to dress us up for the ball and no genie is going to grant us any wishes to make us rich or famous. This life we live is up to us to live to the best of our ability as we rise beyond what holds us back and persevere no matter what it takes. Which leads to me where I came up with my new blog Rise With Riley.
Life is what you make it and you will receive in this life only what you are open to receiving. Be open to change, be open to the journey that is possible if you let it be! Open the doors to change if you think it will bring you joy and if it doesn’t then accept your losses but be proud of yourself for taking the risk to achieve more. You may not know what you want until you stumble upon it and you may also not know there is more to life until you take a chance and reach for more. Don’t let the character you play in your life be a prisoner of a story line you settled with or were forced to be out of comfort or sheer laziness or contentment! Also, don’t let someone else set the standards of your character or your direction! You only have one life to live and it is your very own duty to make every line or chapter count. No matter what happens along the way of your story line be the director of your own story. For an example: Like my mom always told me, ” If you don’t like your story or whats going on in your life, change it before it changes you!” You have the power to live the life you desire and the ability to achieve anything you set your mind on doing! Don’t sell yourself short or allow your background or experiences to alter your ability to live your best life today or ever. I have faith that between you and the universe helping to show you light in the darkest of moments when you need it most that you can reach your version of personal success and build a story fit for a king or queen. Always find faith in yourself and never stop going after what you want! Love yourself enough to change where you need to and walk away when it’s the best option. Know your worth and what you bring to any table because that is your value no matter how any one see’s you the only thing that matters is how you see yourself and if you are being true to who you are and can sleep comfortably at night with your actions.
As always, “I hope this post found you well but left you more motivated and inspired to live your best life today and always! Have a blessed day!”
Thank you for reading, as well as for any follows, likes, shares or comments you are willing to share below. I always love to hear about my readers thoughts or feelings on each piece I write. So, do not be shy to share your story or feelings below!
~Yours Truly Certified Life Coach & Blogger S Riley!
Life Is Too Short to Waste! EMPOWER Yourself to Pursue the Life You Most DESIRE! 