Reading the title to this post, I’m sure brought some faces to mind! This is a question people usually don’t ask themselves because they frequently think they already know who the monsters in their life are. Who the people that piss you off or hold you back are. The people that stand in your way or hurt you. The people that broke you or your heart that you can’t forget or forgive. Those are the people you may be thinking is the right answer to this question but those are not the people I am talking about here. This may surprise you because if your worst enemy is not one of those people then who could it be?
Well the answer is quite simple but before I tell you the answer I am going to let you brainstorm for yourself based on your answers to these next questions. Starting with, who is the person that allows the monsters we spoke of above to have a hold over you still at this point in time? Who is the person that is choosing to accept a lesser life in spite of all they have overcome? Who is the person that is setting poor boundaries that is allowing people to disrespect you or hurt you the way they have? Who is the person that is not putting their best foot forward right now? No matter what reason this person may have for allowing such things. Perhaps they lack confidence, are grieving, were brainwashed by those around them, have negative foundational beliefs, exhaustion from life or disappointment, lack of motivation, or just give up! For those of you that did not catch on to the answer for who your worst enemy is, the answer is you! I say this not to hurt you but to help you recognize who is the one that is making all the decisions in your life. No matter if these decisions are planned or made in rash actions, decisions for survival or made because you have lost faith in yourself or the world around you. At the end of the day you have the power to choose a better life for yourself.
I think it’s important since we are at the point of the post where we are taking a cold hard look at the reality in front of you. I think it’s a good time to take a minute to give yourself a hug or a little love for all you have mentally or physically dealt with over the years that brought you to this very moment in time. Have love for yourself, give yourself room to acknowledge that maybe even though you are the person that is allowed all of these things to happen to you perhaps some of the things that happened to you were beyond your control at the time they happened. Life takes time, healing takes a lot of time. I know more than most sometimes after we experience trauma or struggles we need recovery time to allow ourselves to find our footing. Time to rationalize our new scenario and allow ourselves time to mend or plan a new plan of action to push ourselves forward. So, maybe you are still in that time frame. The one where you feel stuck and unsure how to move ahead? Is that you, do you feel stuck right now? Are you overwhelmed with life? Is the idea of change scary because the idea of uncertainty makes your skin crawl and because of that you just stand in place? Are you hoping someone or something is going to come along and rescue you? If so, here is some more bad news. “No one can save you from what’s in your head or the past but you!” You can’t go backwards and we don’t get do overs! However, we do get second chances and the opportunity to evolve and grow from mistakes or moments of weakness. This life can be unfair but even though all the above is the raw reality we each face daily and sometimes need to hear as bluntly as I have shared with you today. This life can also be full of beautiful things that can help us to bloom beyond all that has ever held us back or knocked us down. The first step of moving forward and reaching this kind of beauty in life is accepting the things we cannot change. The second step is accepting the part we played to get ourselves where we are now! The next step is finding the strength to forgive those that hurt us. We do not do this for them, we do it for ourselves so we can move on and grow. The step after that is forgiving ourselves for the time it took us to mend so we could reach the point we are at today. It’s important to be proud of who you are in spite of all you have been through. It’s important to not see your past life lessons as failures but more so as trail and errors that you learned from and were able to gain wisdom or strength from.
I have experienced many struggles that I myself have sat in place and accepted less than I deserved. I am not without misfortune or too proud to admit my own defeat or milestones. I say milestones because that is the best way to look at them because I have had many moments of weakness too many times to count but I have also had many come ups. Many times where I fell right on my face but then without question or reasonable doubt I stood back up dusted myself off, set a plan of action and reached every goal along my path until I hit the next bump in the road. You see that is what life is all about. We can cry and complain about it if we need to! We can even get mad or rebel against the world but at the end of the day when we are done throwing whatever temper tantrum we feel we have to. Somewhere along the way we need to find a way to find acceptance and build a new plan of action to go on once more. I am no stranger to beating myself up or hiding in bed away from the world. Trust me if you were to ask my late husband ” What is my favorite thing to do in times of struggle?” He would tell you, ” That on the regular in times of struggle, I would schedule my very own pity party moments!” I would set aside a time when I was alone in a safe place where I would just allow myself to rest and feel my feelings. I would allow myself to sleep in a little longer than usual. I would allow myself to eat what I want, usually it would be pizza. Then, I would allow myself to paint, write, swim, or garden my emotions out until I felt well enough to leave all the things I had to let out of myself behind and could press forward.
This idea of scheduled pity parties may not be for you perhaps you have your own ways to relax or overcome struggles. However, if you found during this post that you are your own worst enemy then now is the time to check yourself and stop holding yourself back! Now is the time to stop stepping in your own way of living the life you desire! Now is the time to be the director of change in your own life. That means now is the time to find the strength in yourself that you think isn’t there but really is and stand up and fight for the life you want to live. Now is the time to look deep within yourself and fight off your bad habits, fight the negative thoughts, push past the trauma that got the best of you the best you can even if that means finding a helping hand to talk to or keep you motivated. Life is too short to waste and every moment that passes is one you may not have taken full advantage of! So, what are you going to do moving ahead to take full advantage of every moment ahead of you? What are you going to do for yourself right now that will help you overcome all the above and rise for yourself?
One last bit of wisdom, know your worth and recognize how much you bring to any table and that right there will be the secret to your own version of personal success! My hope is that this was a positive wake up call for those of you that needed to hear any of the above. Remember we all struggle, no one is perfect and every fall we take is a lesson learned along the way. Love yourself through the hard times, be honest with yourself even if you cannot be with others and never give up the good fight. You are worth fighting for and so are all of your dreams and aspirations, never forget that! Thank you for viewing my post today, may this post find you well and leave you more motivated and inspired than you were before. As always best wishes upon the adventures ahead of you, thanks for reading my crazy beautiful life solutions while you rise with me, yours truly Certified Life Coach S Riley.
Life Is Too Short to Waste! EMPOWER Yourself to Pursue the Life You Most DESIRE! 